KDOC: Jamie Kennedy claims they meant to do that

KDOC: Jamie Kennedy claims they meant to do that

Remember that video I posted about the disaster that was the KDOC New Year's party? Well, JK claims that they meant to make it the worst New Year's broadcast. I can't buy that, so I am calling bullshit.

Jamie Kennedy, a person no one cared about in years, did an interview with The NY Times. From NY Times, ((It was totally supposed to be like that. We wanted to make almost an anti-New Year’s Eve show, and the recipe calls for unexpected. We had an open bar for our guests, we were unrehearsed. It was not glamorous.))

The term you can't polish a turd comes to mind. So, the random cutaways and off screen talking was all supposed to be there, Jamie? It reminds me of that scene in Pee Wee's Big Adventure where PW falls off his bike and says, “I meant to do that.” I feel the same way about this.

FromLA Times, (( ”I didn’t stab nobody, I didn’t shoot nobody. I just made a  New Year’s Eve special. Is that so bad?” he also said.))

Well, no. But you did make Kickin' It Old Skooland Son of the Mask. Those were so bad that some needs to create a movie tribunal for crimes against cinema. Anyway, I guess it was a blessing in disguise because people haven't talked about Kennedy since he made that Heckler movie.

Oh, and he was good in those Scream movies.

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An American Carol (2008)

An American Carol (2008)

David Zucker certainly has fallen on hard times creatively.  If this movie is what he has to offer, than he might as well give it up.  This guy and his brother Jerry brought us Airplane and the Naked Gun series.  Now, Zucker, a known conservative, decided to make an unfunny conservative comedy aiming at those crazy liberals.  It all comes across as being boring and unfunny.   Zucker has turned into the right leaning version of Oliver Stone.  Like Stone, it is rather sad to see someone throw away their careers for their political message. 

The basic plot is a Michael Moore-like (Michael Malone) character decides he wants to start making fictional films instead of documentaries.  Malone gets involved with a group of Terrorists unknowingly helping them in the process.  The second plot involves three ghosts showing Malone the true meaning of America, in which he hates everything about. 

To say the two plots don’t fit that well together is an understatement.  It was like they took a Naked Gun script and a Fox News movie and mashed them together.  The movie doesn’t know if it wants to be spoof of A Christmas Carol or movie about comedian terrorists. 

And, I hate to break this to you, Zucker, but Team America beat you to it.  Stone and Parker did a better job of it.  When characters were preachy in that movie, it was a joke.  When people preach in this movie, it is supposed to be taken seriously.  That’s where An American Carol fails, because it spends too much time preaching instead of telling and showing us a funny movie. 

And, the jokes, if you want to call them that, are lame and downright unfunny.  It just proves conservative humor isn’t funny.  Do you remember The ½ Hour News Hour ?  Nope, that’s my point exactly.  It might be time for Zucker to re-watch his older movies and get back to making those.

The movie is so straightforward with its message that it is laughable.  “Criticizing America=supporting the Terrorists.”  It is never that simple, and it feels more like the Oliver Stone type of “making shit up for the message” sort of storytelling.  The movie leans more toward propaganda than parody and that’s sad. 

-Kevin P. Farley:  Chris Farley’s brother is all right in the role, but the script doesn’t give him anything to do.  And, he’s supposed to be the main character.  He mostly gets slapped. 

-Gary Coleman, Leslie Nielsen and Dennis Hopperall have parts in this movie and they’re all dead.  I am not making a connection, just a note. 

- Kevin Sorbo:  Wait, Sorbo is in this film?  Where has he been? 

-Kelsey Grammer as General George S. Patton:  Okay, he’s not bad as Patton, but damn do they really play out this character to death.  He’s part of the running gag, but it’s not funny. 

- Trace Adkinsas Death?:  Is it because people listen to his music and die? 

-  Bill O'Reilly:  This movie and Iron Man II.  If you want to make a your movie even more unfunny, as Bill O’Reilly. 

An American Carol is a poor and giant misstep.  It is sad when a puppet movie does a better job making fun of Michael Moore than an entire movie devoted to lampooning him.  This movie would be one of the movies that a Naked Gun movie would make fun of somehow.  Yet, there are a few amusing moments here and there, nothing can save this movie from Poop-dom.  There is room to make fun of the far left in a movie, but this isn’t it. 

Grade:  D

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Shaq Homophobic? Sorry, nope.

Shaq Homophobic? Sorry, nope.

From Huffington Post, ((On Wednesday, O'Neal posted a cartoon about proper peeing protocol at the urinal.In the drawing, one man uses the urinal directly next to another man, even though many others are available. "This is an automatic fight in my book.......LMFAO," O'Neal wrote.))

Wow, we've certainly taken this “outrage” thing to the next level. Once again, certain elements of gay community are calling something so harmless a gay attack or slur. Stop attacking people that make a little joke and go after the big fish that want to destroy everything about you. Have solved all the other pressing issues in the gay community? How about focusing on gay marriage instead of the b-ball player that starred in Kazaam?

If you're going to be outraged, attack him for inventing Shaq-Fu.

Hate to break this to you, but most guys really feel uneasy about being in a public restroom, myself included. I have even have a problem talking to people while holding my penis or them holding their theirs. I get a little uneasy with that. Something about exposed penises makes me uneasy. Restrooms in general are unsettling places. You never know what you're going to get.

It is an unspoken rule that if other urinals are open you never take a piss beside another guy. Don't do it.

This rule goes out the window when a sporting event though. For some reason, it is okay to piss in a mass-grouping around a bathroom trough.

Otherwise, you should never do that. Watch and learn...

Shaq homophobic?  Sorry not this time.  I would love nothing more than to make fun of Shaq for saying something stupid, but this isn't one of those moments.  Move along, move along.

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Random Stuff

Random Stuff

~I bought myself a brand new HP Notebook PC from Wal-Mart. I am starting to get the hang of this thing. I've never had a laptop before do it takes a lot to get use to the mouse pad. I am so use to the mouse that this pad thing is really awkward. I am also getting use to the wifi stuff. Certain areas have free WiFi services, such as restaurants and parks. There is a free one at the Waterfront Park in Louisville.

~Dianetics: A friend of mine decided to buy and read the L Ron Hubbard book dianetics. Yes, that guy that created his own religion. Flipping through the book, I can see the beginnings of Scientology with terms like “Clear”. My friend has already warned me that he probably won't be able to finish the book because it is so dreadful. I told him that it is basically a book written by a complete madman.

~It has been a busy week, and I've been bouncing around the city trying to get certain papers done. I am almost out of the woods.   

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KDOC fails in the New Year

"Houston, we have a problem." 

KDOC gives a whole new meaning to “train wreck”

What the hell happened? Who directed this mess?

Macy Gray, Bone Thugs N' Harmony Shannon Elizabeth and Jamie Kennedy, it is like the 90s came back and bit us all in the ass. Were these the people that couldn't get invited to the cooler parties?

~Jamie Kennedy: Your first and biggest mistake was bringing in hack Jamie Kennedy. The guy made Son of the Mask. That in itself should keep you away from hiring him. I did like his stupid default expression. At least we know where they've been keeping JK. They have him locked up in the KDOC studios and wheel him out whenever they need him like a prop.

~Burger interruption?: I am sorry, but you don't interrupt Shannon in mid-sentence. It is freaking annoying bec----...

~Copyright claim: I guess feeling the Butt Hurt, KDOC put a copyright claim on the guy that uploaded it. They felt embarrassed, when they should own up to it.

~Macy Gray: Where has she been? There was a time when she was really popular, and I don't know why. She sounds terrible in the clip.  It really is kind of sad that she's been reduced to this.  And, I think humanity has forgotten about her collectively.  

~Picking the two least attractive woman and putting stage wasn't funny, Jamie.  Oh, and the one on the right is the woman that picked a fight with dude on stage at the end of the video.  

~Worst crowd ever...Did they just pick some random people from a mall to show up?

~Watch the woman read the teleprompter that the guy was reading and mouthed every word.

And, thank you to Patton Oswalt  for bringing this train wreck to light.

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Jeff Gerstmann vs. Kane and Lynch: The Return.

Jeff Gerstmann has finally revealed what happened all those year ago

MC and I wrote a great many posts about the story of Mr. Gerstmann being fired by his Gamespot bosses for his review of Kane and Lynch. His review of K&L was lukewarm at best. Due to the heavy advertising of K&L on Gamespot, many bloggers and gamers conjectured that they fired him due to pressure from the publisher.

There was a lot of fallout due to this information allegedly being leaked. My favorite part about the story was that Gamespot straight up lied about the reason behind Mr. G's firing. From Wiki, (( GameSpot denied that Eidos influenced the firing of Gerstmann at the time.[14][18] However, as of March 2012, the non-disclosure agreement that withheld details of the editor's termination was nullified and subsequently revealed that the firing was indeed due to threats of Eidos pulling advertising revenue away from GameSpot as a result of Jeff's poor review))

Because of a gag order, Mr. G couldn't talk about it. Back in March, he finally revealed what really happpened. And, it is very close to the truth. Check out the video and jump ahead to 8:00.

Watch live video from gamespot's channel on TwitchTV

It is very interesting to listen to his take of the story.  Game companies threaten to remove ad money all the time, but it was this incident that got them caught red handed.  I also think K&L also suffered because of the fallout too.  

Jeff talking about K&L II.  Very amusing now knowing all the history...

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Nicki Minaj: Starships

Nicki Minaj:  Starships

      

Okay, I needed to write this review a long time ago, but I never got around to it.  But here it goes.  Nicki Minaj’s Starships represents 60% of everything that is wrong with hip-hop and 90% of what is wrong with North American pop music. 

It is loud without much musical or lyrical structure.  Instead of making a fun song, it is more interested in being a stupid song to be played in a rave or dance club.  The song isn’t very good and certainly not in the same style as Beez in the Trap. 

Sadly, Nicki has fully embraced this annoying bad trend of making hip-hop into really bad Euro-dance/trance mixture.  Nicki has proven that she can do pure hip-hop songs without the bad Euro stuff.  However, these strange dance/rap hybrids are more popular across the globe.

Probably the worst part about the song has to be when it switches tones after the “Higher than a Motherf’er”.  It sounds more like a Black Eye Peas song than anything else.  This section of the song is the real reason I hate the song.  The loud techno stuff makes for a jarring and unpleasant sound. 

If I had something positive to say about this song, I’d say some of the music video is very colorful. 

~That voice: Nicki’s voice is very annoying in the opening of the song.  I’ve always hated her strange British voice. 

~Ass Implants, Nicki?:  Man, it is a sad time when black women feel the need to get ass implants too.  This music video kind of shows her bum shake in a strange fashion.  Why did you need an ass implant, Nicki? 

~Is that the Dianetics volcano in the background?  Isn’t the song and music video about starships?  Are we seeing a connection to Scientology?  Probably not…

~Portions of this video, when the guys are jumping through the colorful water, feel like an ad for Ocean Spray or some other juice company.  

 ~What is up with the clear cube in the background?  Is it one of those things from 2001? Is it the Transformer Cube?  

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